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| I'm video chatting with Sule! It's been about 2 hours. That's all I have to say. | | |
| All the songs I had stuck in my head today:
1.) Down
2.) Jingle Bells
3.) Up on the Housetop
4.) Don't Stand So Close to Me / Young Girl (Glee)
5.) Replay
Sometimes they interchanged with each other and I would sing "Baby don't worry, you are my only, even if the sky is falling down, got my iPod stuck on replay" plus a little "Dashing through the snowwwwwww in a one horse open sleighhh o'er the fields we gooo ... up on the housetop reindeer paws, out jumps good old Santa Claus."
Darn you, radio in my car on the way to work and the bank. Darn you, cell phones in the office. Darn you, Christmas music constantly being played at work. Darn you, Glee/Will Shuester. | | |
| Sometimes I forget to
Love you like I should
But I'd never leave you
No, I never would
I never would
Oh, oh, oh woah, you know
The way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine
Just say you'll stay forever mine | | |
| Here's a random topic: Hermaphrodites. Apparently there are all these rumors going around about Lady GaGa being a hermaphrodite because of one fuzzy, "incriminating" picture. My opinion on the matter is that she's a girl, but more importantly: who cares? I know it seems like a big deal or unnatural to a lot of people, but consider this: Up to 2% of all live births result in intersexed babies. It happens. The parents have to make a decision. And while, I think, in most cases the baby grows up and identifies more with the female sex, causing most parents to choose to 'make their baby a girl,' that's not always the case. I'm wondering if parents should wait a few years for their child to identify with a particular sex. Sure, there's always the possibility of psychological damaging done by other children, but doesn't it seem like it'd be MORE detrimental for the child to grow up and think something's wrong with them because they're a woman yet feel more like a man? You can't CHOOSE someone's sex for them, you can only try to force GENDER on them. Gender is societal, not biological. I just feel like this type of topic is another reason why society sucks. We're forcing boys and girls to have preferences towards certain gender-oriented things AND choosing their sex for them? It just doesn't seem right to me. | | |
| I recently had a dream about my ex, S. In the dream he was in love with me but scared to tell me because I had hurt him so many times in the past. When I woke up, I was a little pissed off at "dream S" because he had hurt me a lot in the past, too. Regardless of all this hurt, S is still one of my closest friends. We've gone through so much together. I know it sounds weird, but I can still picture my future life with him - my entire, married-with-children life. That's why last year I chose my current boyfriend, J, over him. I know it sounds odd, but I'm not ready for that type of commitment. I'm only 20 and I wanted my next try at being with S to mean something permanent. I wanted it to mean marriage and babies and true love forever & ever. So instead I decided to try something with J, which has had it's ups & downs as well, but mainly it's going good. In the back of my mind, however, I still think about marrying S. And I'm terrified that I've ruined everything with S by choosing J earlier in the year.
Is it wrong to be terrified that I've lost S forever when I'm currently dating J? Even I know the answer to that question. But with me and S, it's never off the table. Maybe that's why all my relationships have been short lived. With J, I've sincerely tried to put S off to the side, to give things with J a real shot, and they're going really well. I'm happy with him, truly. Yet, I still think about the future I've imagined with S from time to time. And those times are becoming more frequent.
I sound like a 14 year old instead of a 20 year old woman. I don't know why I chose to type this all out on xanga or why I'm thinking about it at this moment. I just know that I am. | | |
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